A father

       I was raised in a  strict household, and my mother enforced the discipline.  Every now and then my dad disciplined me and my sister.  Based on how I was brought up and the culture I was brought up in, my view of discipline is that it has to be strict.
         For the longest time I had a problem trying to fit into the role of a father.  I was irresponsible and selfish.  After I made a decision to let my Heavenly Father be the Lord of my life, I decided to be a father who isn't just there.  I have three kids and I know how they turn out largely depends on how I raise them.
         Now comes the problem.... my wife is always telling me that I tend to use a harsh tone when interacting with the kids.  I never took her seriously because I'm the disciplinarian in my family.  I discipline and they run to her for love.  I told  her that was my discipline voice, and then she went on to say I speak to them in that tone most of the time.  To make it even worse my kids agreed that I appear "grumpy" most of the time.  Don't get me wrong I love my kids, I show them love, I hug them (maybe not as much as I should).
         I just thought it was out of Love.  Because I want my kids to turn out right, I follow what the Bible states-

Proverbs 13:24 
Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

        I want to show my children love without sacrificing discipline.  What do I do?  How do I do it?